a lot has been made of ed young and his mega-church's sex week challenge where parishioners were encouraged to have sex every day of the week. i know there is enough news about this, surely there is enough blogging my favorite being from micheal spencer. my problem lies within that sex, tho not inherently bad, is not an answer to marriage success. what do i mean by this? i'll turn the mic over to kathleen norris on celibacy.
They have also helped me recognize that celibacy, like monogamy, is not a matter of the will disdaining and conquering the desires of the flesh but a discipline requiring what many people think of as undesirable, if not impossible – a conscious form of sublimation. Like many people who came into adulthood during the sexually permissive 1960's, I've tended to equate sublimation with repression. But my celibate friends have made me see the light; accepting sublimation as a normal part of adulthood makes me more realistic about human sexual capacities and expression. It helps me to respect the bonds and boundaries of marriage.
Any marriage has times of separation, ill-health, or just plain crankiness, in which sexual intercourse is ill-advised. And it is precisely the skills of celebrate friendship – fostering intimacy through letters, conversation, performing mundane tasks together (thus rendering them pleasurable), savoring the holy simplicity of a shared meal, or a walk together at dusk – that can help a marriage survive the rough spots. When you can't make love physically, you figure out other ways to do it.
-kathleen norris, the cloister walk
the secret to saving marriage or making some statement of marriage health is not having more sex.. its cultivating intimate friendship. i fear most folks experiences during sex challenge was some bad sex by a lot of people who needed to make friends first. ed, maybe you can speak to that.
good call, Gav.
good call, Gav.
getting a little pg-13 the last few days, eh? 🙂
getting a little pg-13 the last few days, eh? 🙂
yes, needed to up the racy-ness of the blog. &:~)
yes, needed to up the racy-ness of the blog. &:~)
Ha! I agree with you on this. This is kind of microcosmic concerning some of the general directions of the American church. Willimon also has a lot to say concerning the pursuit of “orgasm” over spiritual pursuits.
Ha! I agree with you on this. This is kind of microcosmic concerning some of the general directions of the American church. Willimon also has a lot to say concerning the pursuit of “orgasm” over spiritual pursuits.
Given (J)’s health over the last 4 years that part of our married lives (23yrs, so far) is over. A couple of years ago she spent about 4 months confined to a hospital bed, our living room converted into a mini clinic. I found myself sleeping on a couch pulled alongside the hospital bed just so I could hear her breathe and occasionally reach out to just touch her. When faced with the alternative, sometimes just touch and presence is all one can hope for, or need.
Given (J)’s health over the last 4 years that part of our married lives (23yrs, so far) is over. A couple of years ago she spent about 4 months confined to a hospital bed, our living room converted into a mini clinic. I found myself sleeping on a couch pulled alongside the hospital bed just so I could hear her breathe and occasionally reach out to just touch her. When faced with the alternative, sometimes just touch and presence is all one can hope for, or need.
dannyg, i’m sorry to hear of the ongoing health troubles you guys are having. as a case to point at, where sex is impossible or improbable or down right unadvised for medical reasons lets hope there is a stronger foundation unifying the relationship than a physical act. many prayers to you & your family.
dannyg, i’m sorry to hear of the ongoing health troubles you guys are having. as a case to point at, where sex is impossible or improbable or down right unadvised for medical reasons lets hope there is a stronger foundation unifying the relationship than a physical act. many prayers to you & your family.