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Delegation Grudge Match! #umc #umclead #tnac2011

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While at Annual Conference we found ourselves in some deadlocks of General Conference and Jurisdictional Conference delegate voting. Talk was made of suspending the rules in order to implement a more stream lined and exciting approach to choosing delegates for GC & JC. Have an all out Grudge Match!

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!! LIVE AT THE BIGGEST CHURCH IN YOUR CONFERENCE!! CLERGY & LAITY ALL OUT GRUDGE MATCH FOR THE AGES!

Headline Match! Delegation Grudge Match! Not sure who or how to vote for candidates? Not sure how to get someone from making amendments to the amendments that wasn’t even ratified or was taken out of the order of discussion for or against. Not sure who gets voted as a delegate for the big league conferences?

Undercard Match! Probationary Candidates vs the Board of Ordained Ministry!! Who is good enough to get ordained but then those who are to be passed for another year or two?.. Well, Let’s settle this once and for all with a United Methodist Holy Conferencing Grudge Match (you are welcome to market it as a Death Match if you like).

So in this Wesleyan Battle Royal we came up with some of the fighters on this Holy Conferencing Royal Rumble (feel free to create your own.

  • “Pastor of Disaster”
  • “The Pastor of Pain”
  • “The Vicar of Vexation”
  • “The Reverend of Rough”
  • “The Clergy Killer”
  • “Minister of Mayhem”
  • “The Church Terminator”
  • “The Fundamentalist”
  • “The Libanator”
  • “The Protester”
  • “Blessed Peacemaker” (special guest referee)
  • “Honky Tonk Pastor”
  • “Rev Riot”
  • “Means of Grapple”
  • “The Bishop of Bullying”
  • “The Witness”
  • “Superintendant of Smashing”
  • “Undercover Baptist”

Feel free to create any fighters story lines.. I’m personally looking forward to the battle between “the Minister of Mayhem” v “the Bishop of Bullying.”

The Book of Discipline The Musical #umc #umclead #tnac2011

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With the success of “The Book of Mormon”  & our United Methodist Church Annual Conferences happening around the UMC over the past month and half. Some friends & I had running imaginations that “The Book of Discipline” is just as confusing as the Book of Mormon so why not create a equally compelling broadway play that can debut right before General Conference in 2012.

“The Book of Discipline” a musical based on the doctrinal works of the United Methodist Church. Musical numbers would include:

  • “Prevenient Grace, How Sweet the Realization”
  • “Where As, Hence, Be It”
  • “Christ, from whom All Committees Flow”
  • “Take My Life and Let it SPRC”
  • “I am a Methodist…and Methodists just whatever…”
  • “Depth of Resolutions”
  • “Jesus, Lover of my Social Principles”
  • “Lo He comes with Consensus Descending”
  • “Where As, Hence, Be It Therefore”
  • “Oh Come and Dwell in, this huge book we Created”
  • “Oh for a Thousand ‘Vital Congregations’ To Sing”

Creators & Contributors to “The Book of Discipline” the musical Heather Bennett, Russell Hale, Brad Smith, & you who leave ideas in the comments.

 

3 Less Graceful Transitions of power than Youth Specialties

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Not surprised by the news that Tic will be transitioning out of his role at Youth Specialties. You could see that coming with the amount of folks that were put into more profiled leadership positions the last few years. I would say, his quicker transition is a surprise (as it seems to be for him as he talks about in the video).

I have met Tic a few times through the hallways and various impromptu gatherings of people before, during and after the National Youth Worker Conventions over the last decade. He has at all times been a person whom you feel the core nature of their heart & soul when you meet them. Even when that is a tougher conversation. YS won’t ever be the same, but that is not a bad thing. Mark, I have only met briefly but seems to be a energizing spirit and has crafted his own vision & practice in youth ministry and I’m sure that flavoring will salt YS in years to come.

It had me thinking.. What are some of the Less Graceful Transitions of Power in history that we can be glad YS isn’t going through?

  1. Julius Caesar & Roman Senate : Yes that whole killing Caesar thing didn’t go along so well. Not only were a bunch of people dead, but that began the end of the Roman Empire. Certainly not the most graceful transition of power.
  2. The Dutch & Spanish : No, not talking about a World Cup final game, though that was a nice if you were the Spanish. But back in the 16 & 17th centuries the Dutch didn’t care to be under the rule of Span’s King Philip and instead of talking it out they had an 80 year war. Not so graceful transition.. Suppose the Spanish got the last word with the 2010 World Cup Championship.. These things can be cyclical
  3. Salvatore Greco & La Barberas : This may be less on your radar than that Dutch v Spanish quarrel. Here is the beginning of our obsession with what we call the Mafia. Greco headed up the Sicilian Mafia Commission & was mad when some drug deal when bad and their buddy was killed and blamed it on the La Barberas clan and then “it was on” after that! Thus began the First Mafia War. Note: Not talking the Facebook game either

 

 

What Flavor Doritos would Jesus Be?

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I threw out this news that Doritos/Pepsi did some crowdsourcing to get their slate of Super Bowl commercials coming up at the beginning of February. One of the Doritos commercials has the Catholic church upset because it uses the symbol of communion/eucharist with ‘the body’ represented as Doritos. Now, Catholics have their view that they really are partaking of Jesus’ body and blood when they take the bread & wine. So I get why they wouldn’t want to taste a Jesus that leaves a terrible after taste and gives you bad breath for the rest of the evening, not to mention leaves a residue on your finger tips.

But, if Jesus was a Dorito, what kind would he be? Someone seems to think Jesus would be Spicy Sweet Chili.. My only hope is that he doesn’t taste like Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger, talk about a bad idea. I think we can all agree we don’t want Jesus to be this doritos flavor.

In more serious discussion, what are alternatives to ‘the body & blood’ that are acceptable? This was part of my discussion with Josh Hale, Katie Dawson, and others over twitter. It was a fun conversation, but had me thinking, this is one of our sacraments, we should know what is acceptable in use and what isn’t..

So I’ve begun a list: What are the acceptable forms of bread? and what are the acceptable forms of juice? and why

Accepted

  • tasteless wafers – you need to suffer through this
  • small stale cubes of bread – you need to suffer & break a crown
  • homemade bread – no suffering needed, grace is good
  • hawaiian bread – it’s all gonna be okay man’ now lets go surfing
  • welch’s grape juice – its cheap and sugar content gets kids to drink it
  • homemade wine – only available in kentucky
  • cheap wine – need to make you cringe when tasting, it is blood by the way
  • **cornbread – its just too dang good

Not Accepted (apparently, some of this list is on protest)

  • buttermilk biscuits – perfect for morning services, imho
  • popcorn – cheap & easily prepared. microwave before services and just pass around the bag
  • grape soda – no sodas for the kids, bummer
  • angel food cake – too many calories to be seen as suffering
  • goldfish crackers – only allowed for church child care programs
  • good wine – not in the budget
  • sweet tea – Jesus wasn’t a southerner, unsweet, getting closer
  • frozen biscuits – you even ask?..
  • cookies – Jesus might have been oatmeal cookie.. academia still sorting that out

** – has to be served with milk

What are your Accepted & Not Accepted list? don’t forget the ‘why.’

gold, silver, bronze awards : top john wesley moments on youtube

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as i look over the church landscape & how they use technologies, i started wondering.. how is our church founder, john wesley, being represented on youtube? and with looking over all this (and the winter olympics in play right now), i decided to medal the top wesley moments on youtube.

 Wesleychapel gold: john wesley chapel linebacker : the young folks at houghton college put this satirical parody of the terry tate office linebacker commercials together & they are just brilliant. involved a bunch of the students and some of the faculty. they reflect some of the core wesleyan theology tenants within the video mixed into a bunch of "ouch" and laughing moments. clear cut gold medal winner!

Wesleysermon2a silver: john wesley sermon, thoughts on war : mark topping is apparently know as a john wesley impresonator. this excerpt is taken from his dvd doing his shtick. the except is posted on the or more about the methodist church of great britain channel which has a few other cool videos. this sermon has the most hits of the excerpts. what i think is funny is quickly wesley would be run out of a pulpit in todays umc for preaching the way he did. the solid silver winner!

Wesleyvideo bronze: john wesley a heartwarming story : this is our dark horse that came out of no where in the medal podium to sang the bronze. i give you the history of john wesley via the confirmation class of first united methodist church of mercedes, texas. what are you doing with your claim the name curriculum? bet it is not as cool as a silent movie motif of wesley's life. anyways, this campy funny approach to sharing wesley's story is by far more entertaining than any of the other powerpoint movie presentations (though some of the foreign language, to me, ones were pretty cool).

Picture 8 standing looking on: relcaiming wesleyan tradition : yup, we tried to see if this thing could go viral for kevin some time back, so it had itself on the 'watch' list, but in the end, it couldn't pick up the medal. this little diddy by the gbod spins off the guinness commercials, which i suppose it okay since wesley had some guinness influence.

**look for the top medalists videos for the united methodist church. that's going to be a tight competition