a few weeks back i made a simple commentary about ed young's sex week challenge to his congregation. amy forbus asked if i would expand on my feelings for a commentary for the umportal. i'm never short on something to say so i gave it a go. it will go into print for the reporter next month, but is online now as 'sex challenge misses the mark.'
Having followed Mr. Young closely and watched his sermons online, I know he has some good reasons why sex is an important part of a marriage relationship. But his pandering with the news media outlets and their need for one-line quotations only simplified an otherwise complicated issue.
Let me suggest we should not be talking about sex as a “foundation” for our marriages. Before we should be having sex, we should figure out how we are friends with our spouses and others. If we are to “reclaim sex” as
God’s great gift from the seduction of culture we have to start at the deep core, not the symptom. The deep core we need to address is how we are friends in love, not lovers in bed.
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go read more of why sex challenge misses the mark
Gavin,
I read your piece when I saw the link on the UM reporter blog site yesterday. I wanted to say, “great job!” I couldn’t agree more with your take on it.
Jeff
Gavin,
I read your piece when I saw the link on the UM reporter blog site yesterday. I wanted to say, “great job!” I couldn’t agree more with your take on it.
Jeff
“If we are to “reclaim sex” as God’s great gift from the seduction of culture we have to start at the deep core”
That’s what she said?….
Good post and good thoughts as usual Gavo.
“If we are to “reclaim sex” as God’s great gift from the seduction of culture we have to start at the deep core”
That’s what she said?….
Good post and good thoughts as usual Gavo.
Hey bro, good thoughts on a subject that is often misued in media and misread in our relationships. The one thing i disagree with is the word friendship. I don’t see a husband and wife as having a friendship. I think the bond of marriage takes you beyond friendship to a place that should be intimate more than any friend would be capable of going. Not sure if I’m making sense here or not. I don’t expect to be anymore friends with my children than I do my wife. I think friends, spouses, children are all in a different place when it comes to how we interact with each other. When we blur these lines, I think it is confusing at the least and could be damaging to our understanding of each other and those expectations associated with each type of relationship.
Hey bro, good thoughts on a subject that is often misued in media and misread in our relationships. The one thing i disagree with is the word friendship. I don’t see a husband and wife as having a friendship. I think the bond of marriage takes you beyond friendship to a place that should be intimate more than any friend would be capable of going. Not sure if I’m making sense here or not. I don’t expect to be anymore friends with my children than I do my wife. I think friends, spouses, children are all in a different place when it comes to how we interact with each other. When we blur these lines, I think it is confusing at the least and could be damaging to our understanding of each other and those expectations associated with each type of relationship.
hey mike,
i get what you mean. my thinking here is that friendship is the base of your relationship. if you cannot be friends with one another then all the other items are not going to fall into place. you hear people reference spouses as ‘and my best friend’ an adjective to their relationship. people know this, but the problem is the people, too often consume others & develop habits of being bad friends. to spouses in particular who are more committed.
hey mike,
i get what you mean. my thinking here is that friendship is the base of your relationship. if you cannot be friends with one another then all the other items are not going to fall into place. you hear people reference spouses as ‘and my best friend’ an adjective to their relationship. people know this, but the problem is the people, too often consume others & develop habits of being bad friends. to spouses in particular who are more committed.